Idaho & Sewing

The two don't really have anything to do with each other.... except for the fact that we just got back from Idaho and I've been doing some sewing.

The kids and I took off on the 2nd and headed to Idaho for a quick visit.

My parents (along with a business partner) bought a hotel and are converting to student housing.  I had to go to draw up the plans.  We weren't originally going to go, but the more my Dad got into things there the more apparent it became that in order to draw it well I needed to be there and see it.  

So we packed up and took off.

We had a lovely visit.  I always enjoy going back to Rexburg.   It was great seeing TJ, Steph and the kids again, although I didn't get to visit with them as much as I would have liked.  I was on a deadline and drawing with the kids around was a little difficult... so I was a little stressed, but things got done.  It was fun staying in the "hotel", although of all the rooms only 10 had water, and of those 10 only 3 had beds, and two had air conditioners.  They bought the hotel at auction and the previous owners didn't seem to respect property much.

The evenings were very nice.  We would roll a few chairs out onto the "porch" prop our feet up on the handrail and watch the cars as they passed by.  The temperatures had cooled down from the heat of the day, and there were NO mosquito's eating us alive.

Since we got back I've made Maria a dress and a couple pairs of pants.

Here is the dress and Maria striking a pose where you can actually see the dress.

I think she just went thru a growth spurt, her pants are all getting too small and her toes are making holes in her jammies.  I made her a pair of leggings (because I just happened to have the fabric) and a pair of khakis.....

BUT, she's got a big bit of a bum and I didn't give the pants enough rise in the rear, so when she plays it's not exactly a pretty sight..... so we'll send these off to a cousin who will hopefully fit these a little better.

Maria's 3rd Birthday.

I wrote this post quite a while ago.... but something happened and most of it was erased.

I was too frustrated to start over again at the time.... but it has been over a week and I really should record this.

Yesterday was Maria's 3rd Birthday.  She is a "big grrr".  

We started off the day with a special "breakfast" of  strawberries and whipped cream.

Of course there were candles in the whipped cream, we sang and she blew out the candles

She was so excited.  She LOVES singing happy birthday and blowing out candles.  She kept saying that this was so great.

We ran some errands in the morning.  We had to pick out some birthday cupcakes (Maria got to pick both her's and Coopers.)  We also went to the store and got 3 fish for my big 3 year old.

She loves her fish and she named them.... but i can't remember the names now... oh wait.   Eedee, Eybee, and Nemo.

We also picked up some ballerina clothes.  She likes Angelina Ballerina and anytime there is dancing in any television program she will start dancing.

Here she is doing a cross between a couple of moves that Miss Karen taught her.

For lunch we had Mac & Cheese with candles & Happy Birthday one more time.  She was so excited.

Then Cooper went down for a nap and Maria got a manicure and pedicure (thanks Mom for all the supplies!)

Here she is showing off her beautiful painted nails.

We picked some vegetables from the garden and hung the laundry on the line to dry.

Then Cooper woke up and we played outside some more.

Roasted veggies for dinner with more candles and singing of Happy Birthday for the 3rd time.

Part of me wanted to stop singing Happy Birthday after the 3rd time it being her 3rd Birthday and all, but we still had cupcakes to go. So we made it an even 4.

We didn't want cooper to feel left out so he got to blow out candles once.

Then the kids dug in.  Maria ate hers like an ice cream cone.

.... but she didn't get very far... didn't even make it down to the cake part.

neither did Cooper.

Maria is a super special "big grrr".  

A few things about my 3 year old girl.

She doesn't have a favorite color.... she still doesn't know her colors...

BUT she can count to 10 in both English and Spanish (on good days)

She loves to sing and dance.

She loves chocolate.

She loves cereal.

She wants her bread without the peels (aka. crusts)

She is potty trained and does pretty good going by herself.

She loves feeding the chickens and gathering the eggs.  

She likes my old barbies and all their wonderful clothes from the 80's.

She loves it when I sew her clothes (which makes me happy).

She loves going to the library and parks.

She misses her Daddy and knows that he is in Honduras.

She loves going for rides in cars and on the tractor and the lawn mower.

She is no longer afraid of dogs.

She doesn't really play well with others... she is a toy hog.  She plays SO well alone. 

She loves to sleep with me and cuddle until she has fallen asleep.

She loves to help and can vacuum out her car seat very well.

A couple of her favorite songs are "Say Hey (I Love You)" and "Sweet Caroline".  She loves to have those songs turned up really loud in the car so she can sing loud.  She asks for them to be repeated over and over and over.

Update: We are back.

The kids and I are here.... back in the states.

We have been here for 2 weeks.

We have been busy adjusting and working on more immigration paperwork.

We miss Marco and his family so much.

But it is good to be here with the kids.

Maria's skin healing from all the mosquito bites she had.

Cooper is in love with the carpet all over again.

(he loves to lay down on it and pretend to go to sleep)

They have both adjusted well to being buckled into car seats.

They love going up and down the stairs, going outside, swings, oh boy do they love swings.

They love my parents hot tub (Maria is a little afraid of wandering even though she can easily touch the bottom anywhere, and Cooper has no fear even though he can't touch bottom in all of the chairs.)

I am doing ok.  I am trying to be strong.  I am not crying as much as I would like, the kids don't need a weepy mother.  I miss Marco..... it sucks being away from him.... it sucks even more not knowing how long this time will last.  I'm trying to keep us busy so there is no time to wallow in self pity.  

Marco misses us too.... he calls 2-3 times a day.  It's cute to see the kids talk to him.  I'll give them each a wireless phone (at the same time) and they will walk around having 3-way conversations with Daddy.  

Maria will turn 3 on September 1st.  I kept thinking that today was August 31st.  When she went to bed this evening she wanted me to cuddle her, which I gladly did.  As she was lying there eyes closed looking very peaceful I got a little sad.  My little angel is growing up so fast.  She doesn't want to hold my hand all the time anymore, although she does wants me to "feed [her] like a baby".  Later this evening when I discovered that today is only August 30th I was excited.... a little present for me, one more day with my two year old.  One more night to cuddle her to sleep, one more day to tell my 2 year old not to hit her brother, one more day of 2 year old adventures.... and then we'll be on to the three's, which will also be good and a wonderful adventure, but I sure am going to miss that little two year old.

Things I want to remember:

The kids singing "sweet Caroline, babumbumbum" in the car today.

Maria, when asked if she was going to sleep in the car, "No, I'm just keeping the sunshine from my eyes."

Cooper running over to my Dad after he woke up from a nap and wrapping his arms around my Dad's leg and then falling to the floor and pretending to go ni-night.

Maria starting to really like dogs (and actually petting one).

Cooper climbing up on EVERYTHING!!

Sweet hugs and kisses.

Maria telling me that she is sad and needs to have hugs.

Life goes on....

I am sorry that I haven't posted much lately.  Things have been..... interesting around here.  We have made some HUGE decisions in the past few weeks. 

There are a couple of new posts today..... they explain a huge part of our life, and the big decision that has been made.

Life is hard, good, but hard.  We have been blessed.

I wish that I could have had more energy to blog and document little things in our lives that make us happy.... like:

-the group of Honduran Hippies that stopped outside our door to play music one market day.
-Abuelo building a fence to keep the turkey from eating all the pretty plants in the garden.
-how the garden is now growing SO much
-Maria saying that she wants to go for a ride in bapa's hummer to the store (Haggens) and get cookies and a balloon.
-Cooper's laugh and learning how to say belly button.
-Marco giving the kids horse rides in the living room.
-Abuela teaching me so much about making clothes.... pants/shorts, dresses, shirts, bloomers......etc, she is amazing.
-a wedding, Marco's friend got married and we were able to attend... so nice.

Maybe one day I'll get around to posting about things in more detail, but not today.....

I've got to play with my kids and spend some quality time with my hubby.

Immigration Story

Cooper has now lived more of his life in Honduras than he has in the United States.  I never thought that we would be here this long (we are in our 9th month). 
We have been trying to get Canadian immigration papers.  We heard from multiple sources that in our situation Canada would take less time.  Since we just want to be together as a family that's the way we went.
Our journey in the endeavor has been.... interesting.  We submitted our application to Canada shortly after Maria was born.  It was going to be processed in the United States because that is the country in which Marco was currently residing.
But a few "interactions" and a year later, they told us that they could not process the application and had to forward Marco's application to the embassy responsible for the country of his citizenship.
So they sent our application off to Guatemala.  Another year passed.  In the meantime we are waiting for ANY news, on the website it says that if you contact them regarding your application status it could delay the process, so we respected that. 
We contacted them after Cooper as born to let them know of the addition to our family.  Then last fall we moved here to Honduras and we let them know our change of address.  The processing time for an application processed in Guatemala was 18 months, this spring it changed to 17 months....
So, doing the math of when Guatemala started processing our application, our application should have been done May 21, 2011.  When the kids and I got back from our month long visit to the states and Canada we inquired into our status.
No response.  They clearly state on the website that they have 28 working days to respond to inquiries.... and that they might not respond at all, which is super frustrating.
And if you try to call... they don't answer the phones.  So it seems like there is no way to get their attention, no way to talk to someone, anyone. 
We sent another email to check into the status of our case.... again nothing.
Frustration is a huge part of our lives.... waiting and waiting.  We want our lives to be able to begin.  We feel like we are waiting in this limbo place where progression can't occur.  It's quite a horrible feeling.
So, one of Marco's sisters did a little digging in Tegucigalpa and got a hold of the fax number to the Canadian embassy in Guatemala.  The Consulate in Tegucigalpa said that fax was probably the best way to get ahold of the embassy. (Thank you Karla!!)
My parents sent a fax on behalf of us.  Still no response.  Still very frustrated.
A second fax is sent.

The kids are sick, they can't play outside because of the dust (which makes them sick), and mosquitoes (they think Maria's tastes oh-so-good, and there is a risk of Dengue), and heat.... so we spend the majority of our time inside here, or over at Abuela's house.  But our place is less than 1000 square feet.... probably closer to 500 than 1000, so there is only so much running around that can be done. 
The kids actually do pretty good for what they've got.
People here are NOT geared towards providing entertainment for their kids.  Parks, libraries, children's programs do not exist here.  For the most part the kids here in Honduras do fine, but a lot of them still want something more.
Cooper does pretty good, but Maria knows what a park is, and she loves story time at the library.

So, with the kids getting sick, the lack of children's activities, the frustration with lack of information in the immigration department..... a whole lot of discussion, tears, & prayers.... Marco and I decided that the best and right next move for us would be for the kids and I to go back to the states until these immigration things are taken care of and Marco will be able to join us once again.

This is something we NEVER wanted to happen.  We never wanted to be separated.  We never wanted the kids have to spend time away from their Dad.  This is the hardest decision we have ever had to make.  We do NOT look forward to the time we will be spending apart.

Now this is where things start to get a little more interesting.....
The decision is made for the kids and I to go back to the States.


Hours later we receive an email from Canada.  They are responding to the fax that they received inquiring to the status of our case.  They inform us that they are waiting on information from us.  That they sent a letter requesting more information from us May 10th 2010.  2010!!  Yeah, we NEVER received that letter.
Holy cow.  UPSET.  We kept on top of things, updating them when something in our lives changed, respecting the whole -not inquiring into our case so as not to delay or processing times- thing.  And trying to follow their rules about making inquiries. *frustrated sigh*

So that new information brews for a few hours... and we receive a phone call....
My parents call.  They made one more phone call to a friend who works at the border..... hope.  Another answer, a different possibility, things we didn't know before.
While we won't be writing off Canada, we have another avenue to explore, one that could potentially take less time process and reunite us sooner.

A letter to a friend.

For those of you who don't know, Marco USED to be an illegal immigrant. 

This is an email I sent to a friend of mine who was dating an illegal immigrant.  She wanted to know a little about the realities.  I have edited it just a little bit to take out her personal information and also to clarify a few points.


Immigration law is the second most compicated law in the US (tax law is the first). Every case is different, and it seems like there are three different answers to every question. Is he a member (of the LDS church)? Did he serve a mission? If he is, and he did, then those things could help? How did he enter the country? Has he ever had any immigration hearings/proceedings?
Getting married is NO guarantee that he will receive permanent residency.
It seems like it all depends on the decisions that he's made in the past. (Marco missed an immigration hearing thereby making it pretty much impossible for us.) I know of a few other couples who have fought the system and after a LONG time (10ish years) they are finally getting papers.
For us, to get papers in the US we HAVE to leave the country. According the lawyers & immigration officers we've talked to (which is a rather long list) it looks like we'd have to be out of the country for between 3 & 10 years before Marco can re-enter.

We haven't yet applied for anything in the US. I was really hoping that some new legislation would pass and make it a litte more simple for Marco to obtain papers (afterall he is legitamitally married and has two kids), but no such luck.
My parents know a few lawyers and a bunch of immigration officers (thanks to living super close to a border), that's one reason we moved to Washington, we were hoping to get a lot of help and easy answers....
We lived in my parents "basement" for 2 1/2 years with no progress.  We have applied for Canadian papers for Marco (I was born in Canada and we have heard that Canadian papers are easier/quicker to get)and HOPE & PRAY that they come thru in the next 4 months.

I HOPE that your situation is easier. It's hard. I love Marco and I love our family.... I wouldn't trade it for anything..... but it's NOT an easy life. It seems like we can NEVER get ahead. There never seems to be enough money. Marco couldn't just go out and get a job... it's a complicated web that we have to tread on carefully... you never know if you're talking to someone who could/would turn your spouse in.
You love the domestic life, but you might not be able to have it, you might have to work. We thought numerous times about Marco staying home with the kids and me going out and getting a job (because I could) but Marco doesn't have the patience to deal with crying kids. We also thought about me working at nights as a nurses aide working into a nursing position... but then I'd want to watch the kids during the day too, and I'd just be WAY too tired.

I hope this doesn't sound too discouraging... If you can make it work, it's TOTALLY worth it. Maybe you guys don't have the issues that we have.... maybe you could go and live in Mexico for a while.

I don't know if this information helps... I hope it does. If you have any more questions I will try my best to answer them.
I am SO glad that you are happy and in love.... I hope for the best for you.

Things I Want to Remember...

I was throwing up a few minutes ago.... (I don't want to remember that)
Maria came into the bathroom and started patting my back.  She asked if I felt yucky, told me to get it all out, and when I was done she asked if I felt better.  Total sweetheart.


 I want to thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.  You are all so wonderful and have brought me great comfort.  Thanks.

A Story..... but not all the stories.

I've composed this blog (and all of its variations) a million and one times in my head.

I've started by saying that "we only have 1 tablespoon of brown sugar left"....
(we can't find brown sugar here, or molasses to make our own brown sugar)

Or complaining about how much I dislike myself for the inadequate mothering I think I am doing....

Or giving the whole back story of how Marco and I met and delving into 101 issues that I don't really feeling like airing out publicly....

But.... I'm not going to write those stories tonight.

I have a serious lack of motivation to do much of anything....  We've been waiting, a very long time for something.... immigration papers to be more exact...  but nothing seems to be happening. 

I had this unspoken expectation that things would be taken care of shortly after the kids and I returned from the United States to Honduras.  That we would return to a first world country with parks, and public transportation that didn't make my little girl throw up every single time we tried to get out of town.  That my husband would be able to have a job that provided for our families needs........ and I could go on and on about my now unfulfilled hopes. 

Nothing has happened.  We've been back here in Honduras a month and a half.  Things are getting harder.  I'm trying hard to enjoy this phase in life.... I do realize that it is a cool experience to have.  It would be even cooler if we were older... like retired, and we were living in some small beach town (instead of a small mountain town in the middle of nowhere), and if I drank (which I don't) or used some little recreational drugs (again something I just don't do), or if I were interested in wasting my days away (which really, I'm not).... then maybe this situation would be better.  But that's not reality.  We are in a small mountain town in the middle of nowhere, we are young, and have two very young children that we would love to give more to (parks, swimming, libraries, hikes in the woods, playing in the creeks, throwing rocks in the ocean (or even a lake), cupcakes, primary, playgroups.... etc).... and we are required to have patience..... a LOT of patience as we wait. 

We've looked into things that we can do and it's pretty much nothing (unless we pursue different paths). 
We can not call the embassy to see what is going on with our papers.... they do not answer their phones.
We can not "drop in".... they will not see us.
We CAN send an inquiry by email into our case status... BUT they do not have to reply, ever.  And if they do want to reply they have 28 working days to do so (which is WAY longer than a month).

I am loosing patience.  We have been waiting a LONG time (as in Maria is almost 3 and we sent our papers in shortly after she was born).  I did the calculations the other day, but forgot the exact date because I didn't write it down, and sometime mid-august Cooper will have spent more of his life in Honduras than he has in the United States.  I had never really thought about that, I guess I just assumed that we would be on to the next phase in life before that happened.

Now.... all that complaining done for the moment, I'm going to list the things I'm grateful for, more for my benefit.... to try to remember the good things and keep things in perspective.  I am grateful for this experience.  I'm so grateful to get to know Marco's family.  They are all so incredibly wonderful.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to know where Marco grew up, and understand some of the decisions he made in the past.  I'm grateful that we can live here in a third world country and see the poverty... it has made me distinguish more between wants and needs, luxuries and necessities.  I do think that I am becoming a better person for the things that I have experienced here.

Now, the reason for this whole post.  I am loosing my patience (which I have already said), I am tired of waiting (which, again, I have already said), I am REALLY looking forward to the day when we can celebrate good news (I think we're going to kill the turkey and have a party!!)  Motivation to be positive, and upbeat, and take pictures, and blog about the cool things that are happening with us here in Honduras is hard to find.  I will try, but most of my motivation will probably go towards making meals, doing dishes, trying to find fun things for the kids to do, picking up toys, folding laundry, and on the rare occasion cleaning the bathroom.

Gas & Electricity

This morning as I was making tortillas the gas on our stove ran out.  We have a tank, like one used on a grill, but a little bit bigger.  This time around it lasted us two months.   Abuela finished cooking our tortillas on her wood stove, so all was not lost.   We will get a new tank tomorrow.  

Just after lunch today the power went out..... and stayed out until 8:30 this evening.  So with no gas, and no power, cooking in my house is impossible.  Thank goodness for Abuela and her wood stove.  Saved the day and kept my kids fed..........

My inability to cook today brought back many memories of when we didn't have a stove (or a fridge) here.  I used to cook on a griddle... you know, the one you occasionally bust out to cook pancakes or bacon.  I cooked everything on it, or at least I tried to.  

I learned that you can cook a plethora of things on a griddle.... it's not just for breakfast food, although I think it is best suited for breakfast food. 

You can cook chicken, and rice.  Pork chops, saute veggies, spaghetti, beans (although this takes FOREVER).  You can make toast, cook eggs and hash browns, soup & oatmeal.

You can NOT pop popcorn.  It just does not get hot enough.  

Corn tortillas do not turn out that great, they get kind of dry.

You can NOT boil water..... again not enough heat.

It says that it can get up to 400 degrees, and maybe that's true, but a lot of times it didn't seems so. 

I am super grateful for our little "plancha" (griddle) and those months that I cooked on it....

BUT, it makes me even more grateful for our stove.

The Fish Bowl

 

This is the front of our house.  There is about a 3 foot deep "patio" between the gate and the entrance to the living room.  The only natural light in the living room comes in thru the window and door when we keep the door open, which we like to do often. 

The kids love to play out here, and we can lock the gate so I feel safe with them playing there if I'm doing the dishes.  It also keeps a safer distance between Maria and Orfito if either of them are in a biting mood.

Sunday's and Thursday's are market days, as I have mentioned before, and we live pretty much in the middle of it all.  

There is a little step from our front gate down to the road, and if there is no booth set up in front of our house people make themselves at home on that little step.  

If we decide to keep our door and window open, then we, more often than not, become the fish in the fish bowl.  People have no qualms whatsoever about staring at us.  

I am VERY grateful for the front gate and lock.... if it wasn't there then a bunch of the neighborhood kids (and a few of the adults) would feel free to come and go as they please.  

Maybe it's because I have two small children....

Maybe it's because I don't want to have the stress of having to keep a vigilant eye out for my kids every second of every minute....

Maybe I'm just not that cool neighborhood mom....

but I don't want people in my house, in my space all the time.

So, again, VERY grateful for the gate.

The fish bowl is getting old.

We still have people who come up who are strangers who want to see the us, people who stop and stare for several very long minutes.  

It's worse when we go out.... which I've kind of been avoiding lately.  I prefer to go to the backyard to play with the kids.... away from prying eyes.  If we need something from the store I'll see if Marco wants to go get it.

When my parents were visiting the staring was a.maz.ing.  We went to buy vegetables up the hill and EVERYONE was staring at my Dad.  Eyes would follow him wherever he moved.  People would follow him around (some wanting money, some just wanting to look).  He was Mr. Popular.  I don't think a lot of these people had ever seen a man so big and tall.  Once my Mom, Marco, Cooper, and I went down the hill to see about buying an horno pot and this lady was maybe 3 feet away, staring at us.

Those are just the blatant ones.  Every single time we go out we get comments or looks.  

-oh look at their eyes-

-look at the little girls blond curls-

-oh they've got the pair (meaning we have both a girl and a boy)-

and if I venture out using the stroller there are always comments on that.

I have never been a person that sought the spotlight.... I could never handle being a famous movie star and having people follow your every move.  So.incredibly.annoying.  

Now, for the most part we just live in a fish bowl.... wherever we go people want to look at us.  They, for the most part, keep their distance.  More often than I'd like (I'd really prefer NEVER) people will pet Maria's hair, or squeeze Cooper's cheeks or tweek his nose..... that bothers me.  Unless I know you, don't touch my kids.  People have offered to help me with the kids when I have ended up carrying them both, I always politely decline unless I know their names.  People, for the most part, are very respectful.  Only once have I ever had a problem.  

It was a Sunday after the market was all done.  Marco had gone to his uncle's house to visit while the kids were napping.  After the kids woke up they  NEEDED to get out of the house so we took a little walk down to the pulperia to get something.... I don't even remember what for now.  There were a few other people ahead of us.  A man came up to us... he was a little intoxicated.... and wanted to hold Cooper.  I said no, and he actually tried to take Cooper out of my arms.  I said no and switched Coop to my other arm.  The man then proceeded to go around to the other side of me and try to pick up Maria.  I picked her up and left.  The shopkeeper did try to tell the man to leave us alone, but he was just too persistent for me.

This whole fish bowl/petting zoo is definitely NOT on my list of good things about being here, but it is part of being here... and I am trying to document our experience as a whole here.