A letter to a friend.

For those of you who don't know, Marco USED to be an illegal immigrant. 

This is an email I sent to a friend of mine who was dating an illegal immigrant.  She wanted to know a little about the realities.  I have edited it just a little bit to take out her personal information and also to clarify a few points.


Immigration law is the second most compicated law in the US (tax law is the first). Every case is different, and it seems like there are three different answers to every question. Is he a member (of the LDS church)? Did he serve a mission? If he is, and he did, then those things could help? How did he enter the country? Has he ever had any immigration hearings/proceedings?
Getting married is NO guarantee that he will receive permanent residency.
It seems like it all depends on the decisions that he's made in the past. (Marco missed an immigration hearing thereby making it pretty much impossible for us.) I know of a few other couples who have fought the system and after a LONG time (10ish years) they are finally getting papers.
For us, to get papers in the US we HAVE to leave the country. According the lawyers & immigration officers we've talked to (which is a rather long list) it looks like we'd have to be out of the country for between 3 & 10 years before Marco can re-enter.

We haven't yet applied for anything in the US. I was really hoping that some new legislation would pass and make it a litte more simple for Marco to obtain papers (afterall he is legitamitally married and has two kids), but no such luck.
My parents know a few lawyers and a bunch of immigration officers (thanks to living super close to a border), that's one reason we moved to Washington, we were hoping to get a lot of help and easy answers....
We lived in my parents "basement" for 2 1/2 years with no progress.  We have applied for Canadian papers for Marco (I was born in Canada and we have heard that Canadian papers are easier/quicker to get)and HOPE & PRAY that they come thru in the next 4 months.

I HOPE that your situation is easier. It's hard. I love Marco and I love our family.... I wouldn't trade it for anything..... but it's NOT an easy life. It seems like we can NEVER get ahead. There never seems to be enough money. Marco couldn't just go out and get a job... it's a complicated web that we have to tread on carefully... you never know if you're talking to someone who could/would turn your spouse in.
You love the domestic life, but you might not be able to have it, you might have to work. We thought numerous times about Marco staying home with the kids and me going out and getting a job (because I could) but Marco doesn't have the patience to deal with crying kids. We also thought about me working at nights as a nurses aide working into a nursing position... but then I'd want to watch the kids during the day too, and I'd just be WAY too tired.

I hope this doesn't sound too discouraging... If you can make it work, it's TOTALLY worth it. Maybe you guys don't have the issues that we have.... maybe you could go and live in Mexico for a while.

I don't know if this information helps... I hope it does. If you have any more questions I will try my best to answer them.
I am SO glad that you are happy and in love.... I hope for the best for you.